Parenting That Makes a Difference (Part 1 of 4)

I. What God Wants Us to Know About Our Children

1. Our children are VALUABLE.

Psalm 127:3 - Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward.


2. Our children have NEEDS.

Matthew 6:31-32 - "Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?' For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

*** A GOOD FATHER KNOWS THE NEEDS OF HIS CHILDREN.


3. Our children need to be TAUGHT 'almost' EVERYTHING.

Proverbs 1:8 - "Hear my son your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

*** BE PATIENT and INTENTIONAL IN TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN.


4. Our children areUNIQUELY designed by God.

Psalm 139:13-14 - "For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are thy works, and my soul knows it very well."

* Don't force them into your MOLD.
* Don't make undue COMPARISONS.



5. Our Children have a "HEART" problem.

Jeremiah 17:9 - "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?"

Proverbs 22:15 - "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child."



6. Our children need to have a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with God.

Ezekiel 36:26 - Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."


7. Our children are not ROBOTS.



II. What God Wants Us To Know about Parenting

1. Parents are responsible to TRAIN their children.

Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Ephesians 6:4 - "Fathers do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

* PARENTING IS A "SACRED" TASK ASSIGNED TO US BY GOD.
* PARENTS MAY TRY TO DELEGATE THE TASK, BUT THEY CANNOT ABDICATE THE RESPONSIBILITY.


2. Parents are not to EXASPERATE their children.

Parents exasperate their children by:
- Unrealistic expectations
- Unreasonable rules
- Failure to listen to them
- Impatience, Temper
- Verbal abuse
- Failure to keep commitments
- Hypocrisy
- Favoritism

Colossians 3:21 - "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart."

Ephesians 6:4 - "Fathers do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."


3. Effective Parenting is not authentic.

Passing on an occupation, material & financial wealth is different from passing on a Godly Heritage.


4. Parenting is a PROCESS.

Galatians 4:19 - "My children, with whom I am made to labor until Christ is formed in you..."

- It is not to be rushed.
- It takes a looong time, so we have to be patient.
- There is no easy way or breaks to parenting.


5. Parenting requires DILIGENCE.

Prov 13:24 - "... He who loves him, disciplines him diligently."

WE NEED TO BE INTENTIONAL.


6. Parenting takes godly Wisdom.

James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men generously ..."

- Fathers are responsible for the well-being of their family.
- If the family is not walking with the Lord, the father should
- assume responsibility
- humble himself
- Ask God for wisdom
- Not pass the responsibility to the society.

- Each child is different. "Different strokes for different folks."
- We need to become a STUDENT of our children.
- We need to PLAN.
- We need to be PRAYERFUL.


7. Parenting has LASTING Consequences.

- The bad habits of the parents are usually passed on to the children.
- The good / godly traits of the parents are often passed on to the children.

Exodus 20:5 "Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children on the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments."


III. WHAT GOD WANTS US TO KNOW ABOUT THE CHARACTERISTICS OF EFFECTIVE PARENTS.

Deuteronomy 6:1-2 - "Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it, so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord your God, to keep all His statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged."

- They LOVE God.
- They KNOW God's Word.
- They PRACTICE God's Word.
- They TEACH God's Word.
- They DEPEND on God.

"PROBLEMATIC CHILDREN ARE OFTEN THE PRODUCT OF PROBLEMATIC PARENTS"


IV. THE GOALS OF PARENTING

1. To pass on a Godly heritage to the next generation.

Psalm 78:5-7 - "For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should teach them to their children, "that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments."

Father --->Children --->Grand Children ---> Children Yet to be Born


2. To develop children to reach their God- given potential - Mentally, Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually, and Socially.

Luke 2:52 - "And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."

Biblical Model of Growth:
- Mental
- Emotional
- Physical
- Spiritual
- Social


3. To help our children grown in Christ-likeness.

Galatians 4:19 - "My children, with whom I am again in labor until Christ is found in you."

4. To bring honor and glory to God.

What Makes Men Cheat?

got this from yahoo news ...

48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.

So much for the myth that for men, cheating is all about physical intimacy: Only 8 percent of men said that physical dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. "Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is to have physical intimacy with someone," Neuman says. "But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right." The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. "Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked," Neuman says. "But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness -- and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it."

66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.

The implications are a little scary: It isn't just uncaring jerks who cheat. In fact, 68 percent of cheaters never dreamed they'd be unfaithful, and almost all of them wished they hadn't done it, Neuman says. Clearly, guilt isn't enough to stop a man from cheating. "Men are good at compartmentalizing feelings," Neuman explains. "They can hold on to their emotions and deal with them later." So even if your partner swears he would never cheat, don't assume it can't happen. It's important for both of you to take steps toward creating the relationship you want.

77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.

Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility.

Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he's subconsciously telling himself: "My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his wife. I guess even the best of us do it." You can't simply ban your husband from hanging out with Mr. Wandering Eyes, Neuman says, but you can request that they spend their time together in an environment that offers less temptation, like at a sporting event or a restaurant for lunch rather than at a bar or club. Another strategy: Build your social circle around happily married couples that share your values -- it'll create an environment that supports marriage.

40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.

"Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts," Neuman says. "That's another reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home." Luckily, there's a clear warning sign that your husband is getting a little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions the name of a female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, your antennae should go up -- and it's time for the two of you to set boundaries about what is and isn't okay at work, Neuman says. Is it acceptable for him to work late if it's only him and her? Can they travel together to conferences? Have dinners out to discuss a project? Ask him what he'd feel comfortable with you doing with a male colleague.

Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.

In other words, a man doesn't stray because he thinks he'll get lucky with a better-looking body. "

In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void

In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void," Neuman says. "He feels a connection with the other woman, and physical intimacy comes along for the ride." If you're worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering how to please him physically. (But know that physical intimacy does matter -- it's one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)

Only 6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after meeting her that same day or night.

Actually, 73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see the warning signs before infidelity occurs -- you might even see it coming before he does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He spends more time away from home, stops asking for physical intimacy, picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls. Your gut reaction may be to confront him, but most men will deny even thinking about cheating, especially if nothing physical has occurred yet. Instead, Neuman suggests, take charge of what you can control -- your own behavior -- and take the lead in bringing your relationship to a better place. Don't hesitate to show your appreciation for him, prioritize time together, and initiate affection more. Give him a reason to keep you at the front of his mind, Neuman says. And be open about how you feel about what's going on between the two of you (again, without mentioning any third parties). Try "I think we've started to lose something important in our relationship, and I don't want it to disappear." In the meantime, commit to keeping tabs on your relationship and doing what it takes to keep it working for you.

Lexi as Tinkerbell

today, oct. 17, 2008 is lexi's costume / halloween party in school ... she enjoyed being Tinkerbell ... kaso palpak naman yung dance number nila ... parang hindi na pinag-isipan nung teacher ... buti na lang sobbrrrannnng cute ng little girl ko kaya carry na ... =)

its that time of the month ... sigh!

kesehodang may melamine ... im gonna eat this ... sigh

lanz and lexi

nung isang gabi ... before our evening prayers ... nagkwe-kwentuhan kaming magiina

LEXI: mom, i wanna tell you about the mermaid story

LANZ: no lexi! you're so noisy. we don't wanna hear your story.

ME: lanz, you let your sister tell her story. (lanz pouts , with dagger look on lexi)

LEXI: giggling and rolling on the bed with her cute cute laughter na labas pa ang kanyang gilagid ... but mom, im shy ... giggles some more and buries her smiling face on a pillow.

LANZ: lexi, you can't be a leader if you are like that, shy! Me, im gonna be a leader someday. not like you, loser!

ME: how can you be a leader lanz?

LANZ: Of Course, i follow all the lasallian core values, and im confident!

LEXI: Im confident! You know mom, the octopus made the sea dirty .... and went on with the rest of the story.

LANZ: blah! blah!blah!

* hay naku ang mga anakish ko ... ka-loka! =D